Do Your ears ring, remembering what used to be?
Missing the old days, do You sometimes cry?
Your arm moved, in mighty ways, because we asked it to.
Accounts of Your greatness echo in my heart.
I heard them. Stories of magnificence and glory.
Yours.
Imagine seeing bricks fall like feathers.
Or water splitting as if cut with a knife.
Opening pages to read about life.
Of impossible things being real.
Ears opened.
Words formed.
Limbs straightened.
Hearts restored.
Repentance on our lips, we cried and You answered.
Refreshing as rain fell.
Coveting Your time, we sang and laughed.
Laughter is dark now.
Songs like rusty nails.
You miss us. We must miss You.
If we remember, does that mean You will?
Those days we hear about, please renew.
In Your mercy, please, Lord, restore.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
"Type A" Doesn't Have to Mean "Type Crazy Person"
I am a Type A personality. This is what Wikipedia has to say about Type A personalities:
"...describes a Type A individual as ambitious, aggressive, business-like, controlling, highly competitive, impatient, preoccupied with his or her status, time-conscious, and tightly-wound. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence. In his 1996 book, Type A Behavior: Its Diagnosis and Treatment, Friedman suggests that Type A behavior is expressed in three major symptoms: free-floating hostility, which can be triggered by even minor incidents; time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation; and a competitive drive, which causes stress and an achievement-driven mentality."
While I know I'm not quite as severe as all that, I know I have the above listed tendancies. I like to be organized. I like things in order. I quite often write myself lists and take great pride in getting them all done. Time efficiency is a fun game for me. Kind of like a puzzle - how many things can I get done [and done well] in the shortest amount of time possible. I like to feel like I have achieved many things in my day.
Having 2 small children can be quite hard on a Type A personality. I was thinking about this as I was getting myself and kids packed up to go out this morning. I found myself getting irritated as I stepped over all the toys in the hallway. I was quite exasperated trying to encourage my 3 year old to get her socks on, and her shoes, and her water cup quickly. I don't think 3 year olds understand that word [or never when we need them to, anyway]. So, as I cleaned up breakfast dishes, and packed the diaper bag, and tried to make my hair presentable, all to the lovely background crying from the baby, I began to wonder if this is what life will be like for the next 5-10 years? Will I always be picking up the same toys two or three times a day? Will I always have to fight them to do what I've asked without whining, and quickly? Will my house always be a mess? Will my lists always be unfinished? Will I always feel like a failure, as my Type A brain sees all the jobs half done, and frustrated, knowing that the jobs will just need to be done again tomorrow anyway?
As I got the kids in the van and headed down the road, reliving what I thought was a gong show of a morning, I heard the Lord whispering to my heart. Just bringing reminders, asking me questions. The kinds of questions that make me re-evaluate whatever it was I just said or thought. What is the most important thing? Does a completed list bring life? Does a clean house represent fulfillment? It's great if Lucy can get her shoes on quickly, but in the process, am I forgetting she's a person and not a "job" to finish? Those toys in the hallway that I stepped over numerous times this morning represented my children playing together. Those toys were a symbol of the laughter I heard while I was getting dressed and doing my hair. I can't miss that.
I found my self praying "Oh, Lord, change me. Change my heart to see the people around me, and not just a list. Change me so that a messy house doesn't exasperate me to the point of crying." The description of the Type A personality that I quoted above doesn't sound great at all. I know there are benefits of being a driven and ambitious person, but the negative aspects I can do without. If I allow the Presence of the Lord to fill me, I can be driven and ambitious without being controlled by "time urgency, impatience and exasperation".
As I was writing this, the scripture about the fruit of the Spirit came to mind. I want the by-products of the Lord's presence, rather than the symptoms of a Type A personality.
Galations 5:16-23 [MSG]:
"...describes a Type A individual as ambitious, aggressive, business-like, controlling, highly competitive, impatient, preoccupied with his or her status, time-conscious, and tightly-wound. People with Type A personalities are often high-achieving "workaholics" who multi-task, push themselves with deadlines, and hate both delays and ambivalence. In his 1996 book, Type A Behavior: Its Diagnosis and Treatment, Friedman suggests that Type A behavior is expressed in three major symptoms: free-floating hostility, which can be triggered by even minor incidents; time urgency and impatience, which causes irritation and exasperation; and a competitive drive, which causes stress and an achievement-driven mentality."
While I know I'm not quite as severe as all that, I know I have the above listed tendancies. I like to be organized. I like things in order. I quite often write myself lists and take great pride in getting them all done. Time efficiency is a fun game for me. Kind of like a puzzle - how many things can I get done [and done well] in the shortest amount of time possible. I like to feel like I have achieved many things in my day.
Having 2 small children can be quite hard on a Type A personality. I was thinking about this as I was getting myself and kids packed up to go out this morning. I found myself getting irritated as I stepped over all the toys in the hallway. I was quite exasperated trying to encourage my 3 year old to get her socks on, and her shoes, and her water cup quickly. I don't think 3 year olds understand that word [or never when we need them to, anyway]. So, as I cleaned up breakfast dishes, and packed the diaper bag, and tried to make my hair presentable, all to the lovely background crying from the baby, I began to wonder if this is what life will be like for the next 5-10 years? Will I always be picking up the same toys two or three times a day? Will I always have to fight them to do what I've asked without whining, and quickly? Will my house always be a mess? Will my lists always be unfinished? Will I always feel like a failure, as my Type A brain sees all the jobs half done, and frustrated, knowing that the jobs will just need to be done again tomorrow anyway?
As I got the kids in the van and headed down the road, reliving what I thought was a gong show of a morning, I heard the Lord whispering to my heart. Just bringing reminders, asking me questions. The kinds of questions that make me re-evaluate whatever it was I just said or thought. What is the most important thing? Does a completed list bring life? Does a clean house represent fulfillment? It's great if Lucy can get her shoes on quickly, but in the process, am I forgetting she's a person and not a "job" to finish? Those toys in the hallway that I stepped over numerous times this morning represented my children playing together. Those toys were a symbol of the laughter I heard while I was getting dressed and doing my hair. I can't miss that.
I found my self praying "Oh, Lord, change me. Change my heart to see the people around me, and not just a list. Change me so that a messy house doesn't exasperate me to the point of crying." The description of the Type A personality that I quoted above doesn't sound great at all. I know there are benefits of being a driven and ambitious person, but the negative aspects I can do without. If I allow the Presence of the Lord to fill me, I can be driven and ambitious without being controlled by "time urgency, impatience and exasperation".
As I was writing this, the scripture about the fruit of the Spirit came to mind. I want the by-products of the Lord's presence, rather than the symptoms of a Type A personality.
Galations 5:16-23 [MSG]:
My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God's Spirit. Then you won't feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways of life are antithetical, so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day. Why don't you choose to be led by the Spirit and so escape the erratic compulsions of a law-dominated existence?
It is obvious what kind of life develops out of trying to get your own way all the time: repetitive, loveless, cheap sex; a stinking accumulation of mental and emotional garbage; frenzied and joyless grabs for happiness; trinket gods; magic-show religion; paranoid loneliness; cutthroat competition; all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied wants; a brutal temper; an impotence to love or be loved; divided homes and divided lives; small-minded and lopsided pursuits; the vicious habit of depersonalizing everyone into a rival; uncontrolled and uncontrollable addictions; ugly parodies of community. I could go on.
But what happens when we live God's way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely.
Oh God. Let love be my motivation. I don't want to get stuck in the all-consuming-yet-never-satisfied desire to have my "list" complete. Help me see people, not chores. Let me do things out of compassion, not duty. I don't want the live by a small-minded definition of what success is. You and Your Presence and Your holiness is my goal. Let it permeate everything I do. Even if it means those toys never leave the hallway.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Mouths Filled with Laughter
When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion,
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us;
we are glad. [Psalm 126: 1-3]
we were like those who dream.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter,
and our tongue with shouts of joy;
then they said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us;
we are glad. [Psalm 126: 1-3]
I haven't been able to get away from this verse lately. Actually, it's always been one of my favourites, always lingering in the back of my mind. It's just been up front for a bit now. I've been challenged to live with my mouth filled with laughter. Not laughter like life is funny, because really, life isn't always all that funny. It can be brutal. But laughter as in, God is good and I am grateful. Gratitude is one of those things that the Lord has been challenging me on lately. Gratitude is, I believe, a key to having true joy. Gratitude always looks for the blessings of life, rather than the things that make it brutal. Gratitude looks at the face of the God who provides all my needs, rather than what I think is lacking. Gratitude isn't always a feeling, it's a choice to believe good things and be glad. I know I won't always be "happy", but I can always find something to be grateful for. Right now, it's the homemade ham and pea soup with cornbread that I'm about to eat for dinner.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
It's coming.
I really do enjoy writing, I just don't do it enough. I thought I'd try a blog again, see if that helps get "the creative juices flowing." I think writing is a good way to figure out my thoughts, and to make myself think outside of the daily household chores and conversations with my three year old (even though I love talking to her).
I've been thinking a lot about REVIVAL lately. I recently heard someone preaching about it. He said: "Revival is a personal thing in your life. It's bringing something back from the dead. Revival for this generation begins inside you." I think it's really easy to hear the word revival and picture big white tents and huge crowds of people weeping at an altar. I immediately think of great men like John Wesley and Charles Spurgeon. Yes, that is revival; God moving in people's hearts. He is capturing them and renewing the spirit that is inside of them in powerful ways. We can't despise those movements.
But, those tent meetings didn't start by accident. They started with people quietly seeking the Lord in their homes. They started with men and women making choices to pursue godliness in their lives. And He showed up. I want revival. For my family, for my city, for the lost and dying. It won't happen by setting up a tent in my backyard. It will happen as I seek the Lord and stay obedient to Him. To listen for His voice. Revival can start in my own heart; my own life and then I believe it will transfer to the culture around me. So, I think it might start quietly, and that's okay. It's coming.
Revival looks like me sacrificing sleep to read my Bible.
It will look like me building a tower out of blocks with my daughter.
Revival comes when I have that young adult over for coffee.
It comes when my husband buys the homeless man a meal.
Revival comes when I speak, or maybe even only whisper, life over an impossible situation.
It sounds like my 3 year old singing "My God is so Big".
It looks like meals to a sick relative, cuddles with a newborn baby, dates with my husband, and a "thinking of you" email to a friend.
"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." (Habbakuk 2:3)
I've been thinking a lot about REVIVAL lately. I recently heard someone preaching about it. He said: "Revival is a personal thing in your life. It's bringing something back from the dead. Revival for this generation begins inside you." I think it's really easy to hear the word revival and picture big white tents and huge crowds of people weeping at an altar. I immediately think of great men like John Wesley and Charles Spurgeon. Yes, that is revival; God moving in people's hearts. He is capturing them and renewing the spirit that is inside of them in powerful ways. We can't despise those movements.
But, those tent meetings didn't start by accident. They started with people quietly seeking the Lord in their homes. They started with men and women making choices to pursue godliness in their lives. And He showed up. I want revival. For my family, for my city, for the lost and dying. It won't happen by setting up a tent in my backyard. It will happen as I seek the Lord and stay obedient to Him. To listen for His voice. Revival can start in my own heart; my own life and then I believe it will transfer to the culture around me. So, I think it might start quietly, and that's okay. It's coming.
Revival looks like me sacrificing sleep to read my Bible.
It will look like me building a tower out of blocks with my daughter.
Revival comes when I have that young adult over for coffee.
It comes when my husband buys the homeless man a meal.
Revival comes when I speak, or maybe even only whisper, life over an impossible situation.
It sounds like my 3 year old singing "My God is so Big".
It looks like meals to a sick relative, cuddles with a newborn baby, dates with my husband, and a "thinking of you" email to a friend.
"This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." (Habbakuk 2:3)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)